The Writer's Inspiration

Mira stood against the door for several long minutes, his eyes closed before he sighed again and pushed away from the door. He dropped his backpack by the couch and went to his computer, turning it on and then checking the messages on his voice mail. He was able to delete most of them, save for the one reminding him that his edited novel was due the next day. He sat down at the computer and went through the corrections his editor had made on his manuscript before fixing them on the final product. He spent the rest of the day working on it and only paused for a short while to order Chinese, since he wasn't in the mood to cook at all. He munched on his chow mein as he read through the part he had just written and smiled faintly, seeing that it was done to his editor's standards.
Around midnight, the corrections were finished and he sighed, hitting the print button and leaning back as he watched the screen, letting his mind wander back to Helaine.

Helaine slept in his bed by midnight, haven nothing better to do but sleep.

Mira sighed and bowed his head. He doubted he'd see the man again unless he went to see him. Helaine said all those nice things to him, but then again, others had said them too and he had been hurt too many times to really believe what was said in a moment of passion because 9 times out of 10, they were empty words. Once the deed was done, they had no more need for him and didn't want to see him again. He got up from his computer, turning off the monitor and he wrapped his arms around his shoulders with a sigh, heading to his bedroom. One thing he was thankful for was that he had never had someone else in his own bed. He had always shared their bed, he had never shared his own. And so, he had no memories of being held and then hurt here; he was thankful for it. He crawled into bed and lay on top of the covers, staring at the flickering candle he had lit to make the room smell nicer.
He wanted so badly to believe what Helaine had said; he was tired of being hurt time and time again, but he had since become numb to it. With a sigh, he cuddled down and closed his eyes before the tears in them could escape them. He drifted to sleep to the soft scent of lilac and magnolia flowers.

***

He awoke the next morning to the sharp sound of his alarm and he rolled over, turning it off before he groaned at the time. But his editor wanted the fixed manuscript early. With a sigh, he got up and headed into the bathroom. He showered quickly and dressed in a casual t-shirt and black jeans. He didn't have much to do today, so he figured he'd drop off his manuscript and then head back home, either that or to the bookstore. Ya, he'd head to the bookstore. He needed some new reading material anyway.
Once dressed, he grabbed his manuscript from the printer and straightened the sheets before putting it in the folder with his original, written on manuscript. He emptied his backpack and slipped the manuscript into the backpack. He slipped his wallet into his back pocket and grabbed his keys as he slipped his feet into his orange shoes. He then left the apartment, turning on his iPod and listening to music as he walked the fairly short distance to his editor's office.
The receptionist got him to sit out in the waiting room for his editor and he flipped through a magazine while he waited.

His editor was late and snapped at others, blaming them for it.

Mira winced whenever he heard his editor raise her voice and by the time it was his turn to see her, he had to force himself to stop trembling out of fear of being snapped at as well.

"Just put it on the desk.." The woman said, she felt a migraine coming on and she didn't even have time to masturbate that morning. It'd be hell for the rest of the day.

Mira nodded and did so, setting it down. "Is, is there anything I can do to help?" he asked her softly, concerned for her.

"A gay man doesn't need to help me" The woman said, picking up what he put on the desk and began to scan through it.

Mira's eyes saddened slightly at her words and he bowed his head, nodding. He turned and left her office, bringing a hand up to the necklace around his neck and he started running the charm on it back and forth against the chain. Some days, like today, he really wished he wasn't gay. It wasn't meant to hurt him, but it still did. Like he liked being reminded. He walked back to his apartment building in silence, his arms wrapped around himself and he found himself wondering how obvious it was that he was gay. Could anyone pick up on it? Or could only those who knew of him know? He glanced up at an older couple that lived in the building and he smiled at them, holding the door open for them. The woman stuck her nose up at him and the man seemed to give him a glare as they walked passed him. His shoulders sank slightly and he figured it was really that obvious. He stood at the door for a few moments before he shook his head and headed into the building, going up to his apartment.
He didn't know why he had suddenly become so emotional. Normally he could keep them in check and yet now, now the smallest thing was setting him off and he hated it! Then again, that was something that probably came with being gay. Perhaps his father had been right, being gay was a curse, a disease.
He locked the door to his apartment after getting inside and he sighed, bowing his head as he went to the couch and sat down on it, curling up in the corner of the couch and resting his head against the arm. He found himself longing to be held again, by anyone at the moment, regardless of what they would make him do afterwards; he just wanted to be held.

Helaine wandered Mira's apartment complex, trying to figure out which one was Mira's. "Damn...should have asked him..." he grumbled.

A young man paused, watching him. "Sir? You seem lost," he chuckled. "Can I help you find your way?"

"Yeah...i'm looking for a young novelist. His first name is Mira" Helaine said, wearing his normal atire, his long hair braided back and he had a few bags in hand.

"Oh, you're on the wrong floor," the man said to him. "Mira lives on the sixteenth floor. Uh, room 1612, I think?"

"Thank you!" Helaine said with a warm smile then went back to the elevator, clicking the 16th button.

Mira was still sitting on his couch in silence, staring at the carpet by his television set when the knock woke him from his daze. He blinked and looked over at the door, staring at it before he frowned. Who could that possibly be? Hesitantly, he got up and went to the door, peering through the peephole. He stared at the figure beyond and quickly stepped away. What was he doing here? How did he find him? He hadn't given him his address, had he? He chewed his lip slightly and glanced down at his appearance, thankful that he hadn't changed back into his pajamas. He took a deep, steadying breath and unlocked the door, opening it.

"Surprise!" Helaine said as Mira opened the door, giving him flowers. Truthfully he really didn't know what he was supposed to get so he figured flowers would work.

Mira blinked, staring at the flowers and hesitantly taking them. "Um, thank you," he murmured and stepped aside. "Uh, come on in."

"I brought cake....and some chinese takeout...hope that's okay" Helaine said, walking in and took off his shoes.

"Uh, ya, ya, that's fine," Mira replied. "But, why are you here?" he asked, going into the small kitchen and getting a vase for the flowers.

"Just wanted to see you..." Helaine said with a soft blush on his cheeks.

Mira paused and looked back at him, watching him quietly. He felt tears burn his eyes and looked back to the flowers. "Well, it certainly is a nice surprise," he muttered.

"Oh ummm here's the food...I didn't know what you liked so i tried to get a bit of everything" Helaine said, bringing the food to the kitchen.

Mira looked up at him and smiled, nodding to the table. "Set it there," he said softly and filled the vase with water as he prepared the flowers and set them in the vase.

"Alright" Helaine said, doing so and opened the containers.

Mira watched him quietly for a moment before finishing up with the flowers and he brought them over to the table, setting them neatly in the middle of the table. He smiled at them. "They're beautiful, Helaine. Thank you," he said to him, hoping he didn't sound too much like the man's dead girlfriend in saying that.